Published 11/18/2024 by Praniti Gulyani
As I look at the advancing dates of the calendar, I feel frosty tendrils of despair tightens themselves around the warmth of my anticipation-dimpled smile. Even though I’m looking forward to the end of the Fall Semester and going back home to India for the winter break, an ice-constructed palm with pincer-sharp fingers tightens its grasp around what I would describe as the mushy mess of my heart.
The approaching weeks actually herald the end of my on-campus time with Suhasini Patra— an individual who molded my college experience with the firm hands of stability and belonging. She’s graduating a year and a half early, and is soon going to be on her way to Law School. As I recount the fond memories that both of us have delicately stitched into the tapestry of our shared experience, I realize that most of them have been woven together by the tender threads of language. Our paths first crossed in Spring 2023, when Suhasini caught me engaging in an extremely dynamic telephone conversation with my mother. That’s when she paused and spoke to me in Hindi, expressing understanding and possibly a concealed sense of familiarity.
Like a free-spirited waterfall, our friendship grew and flourished. Since both of us lived in the same residence hall, we discovered an Indian restaurant in North Berkeley that served my favorite, spice-infused bhel puri. I was also surprised to learn that Suhasini shared my music taste! As opposed to the loud, baritone ‘party’ songs that most people our age enjoyed, we bonded over soft, melodious and meaningful lyrics— that romanticized not just people, but also the world we lived in. Our songs symbolized hope and a deep set sense of affection for the world around us. They appreciated the collaborative effort of the little things that made our world beautiful, right from the leaves on the trees to the rhythmic waves of the sea. We developed a small activity that was unique to our relationship— I would begin a song by singing the first two sentences of it, and Suhasini would complete my verses, making sure to tell me, in the politest of voices, that I would always get the tune wrong.
I’ve heard so many people talk about the numerous roles that your friends are capable of playing in your life, but I don’t think I really experienced it until I met Suhasini who came into my life with broad-chested pitchers of confidence under her arms. Whenever I’d lose confidence or feel the ground of stability slipping beneath my feet, she would create a curated concoction of confidence and hand it to me. In each situation, she knew exactly what I needed and her magical ingredients, as I liked to call them, ranged from a scoop of sweet talk, a ladle of scoldings, or a sprinkle of rational reasoning. And, each time, this concoction worked wonders— uplifting me, completing me, and most importantly, stopping me from falling into a rabbit hole of negativity.
As Suhasini’s friend, I think I was most inspired by her ability and desire to pursue an education that was, in the real sense of the word, “international.” In addition to her Major Requirements, Suhasini also set out in enthusiastic pursuit of other skills that included learning the Bengali language and refining her decision making abilities that were most significantly observed during her administrative role(s) as a member of various Adminstrative Committees at UC Berkekey. Whenever I’d get fixated on my literary pursuits and subsequently depict a comical stubbornenss towards the art of exploring things beyond the fleece-lined edges of my comfort zone, Suhasini— with her gentle coaxing and lead-by-example persona— enabled me to engage with the world that lay beyond.
However, the single most attribute about Suhasini’s personality that is going to stay with me for the rest of my life is her unconditional selflessness, combined with her ability to give without expectation. In this world where everything is thrust into the barricading boxes of a bank balance sheet, Suhasini has depicted the rare ability to go beyond. I’ve always believed that the greatest gift that you could give anyone is your time, and Suhasini has given me that in abundance. Right from music-infused walks along our beautiful campus to serious you-need-to-hear-this-piece-of-advice-and-you-will conversations, she’s gone out of her way to show me the mirror and ensure that I use what I see in the reflection in the manner that is most productive to my self growth.
With her by my side, I’ve understood the beauty of individuality and self-initiated journeys. “We all have our own path, and will get to our goals in our own time,” she would explain, in a soft voice that tinkled with bells of affirmation. Even though Suhasini— or Sini as she likes to be called— won’t be by my side next semester, I think she’s left me with my grasp firmly tightened around the tender legacy of our friendship. In the test tube of my memories, I hold my rainbow-colored concoction of confidence that contains a few sprinklings of firmness, a fistful of hope and above everything else, the desire to walk the extra mile with a spark of willingness in my gaze.